When people are asked to describe a man, words such as strong, compassionate, provider, genuine, loving, caring, responsible will come to mind. These are very good qualities of a man. Those qualities however, are not realized and seen with most men because those men are still working towards achieving the three paramount forces of their lives. Those forces are: Who we are, what we do, and how much we make. These forces are embedded in our DNA and they drive us daily. We feel like a man when they are all achieved or on the way to being actualized.
(1) Who We Are (Our names): Men want to make a name for themselves. A name is a key to identifying who the person is. When you mention a name, the person’s description is followed. Whether the person is tall, short, bad or good, all come from first mentioning the person’s name. Men take pride in their names and it’s the reason we want women to adopt our last name. In today’s culture more women want to hold on to their father’s last name. It shows the husband’s name is not worthy of having. When a man is well to do, the woman will be delighted to adopt his last name. If a woman were to marry Bill Gate, she would not think of holding on to her father’s last name. She will be excited and be proud to be called Mrs Gate. Every man is working on making his name worthy just as Bill Gate has made a name for himself.
(2) What We Do: When we introduce our selves outside, we want to be proud to say we are a Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer, Nurse, Pastor, IT Professional etc). Men want to command respect with their profession so that they can be reckoned with in the society. It is our pride when there is a title to our names rather than constructing long sentence to describe what we do and mortified to say our profession.
(3) How Much Money We Make: Money is sine qua non! It’s the oil that keeps our lives and relationship running. Men are most happy when they can take care of bills in the house, pay for vacation, have enough for savings, retirement, children tuition, and life insurance. Our ego is destroyed when we cannot provide for our families especially when the children ask us for a token that we cannot afford. The more we can provide for our families, the bigger and more alive we feel.
When a man has all these three areas covered, he’s likely to care for the family more, be present for the children, act more responsible, listen to his partner, and all the other good attributes that qualify a man will be exhibited. Without these, most men will end up doing drugs, being locked up, becoming abusive, alcoholic, and not present in the lives of their children.
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